Dazed and Confused

I guess you could say I want to be a pure human being, first and foremost. That is my goal. I don’t want to learn how to make money, that is something I would rather learn on my own as I go, at least for now. I don’t want to buy any thing, that’s for sure. I already have too much.
Instead, I want to learn how to live on the Earth, freely. I’m finding this new phase of life so fascinating. There are so many feasible options and opportunities to learn and experience and explore, and all at my own pace and construction. There aren’t rules or expectations or deadlines, there is just my own existence for my own choosing and enjoyment now.  I live for me and for today and amidst others that share things with me and I with them, and I think we all inspire each other to do things and better ourselves and make each other’s worlds better in the best way we know how.

I need to learn how to go back to nature, and to create.  I’m going to live on a farm, in Europe, and it all begins in 5 days.  I realize now that it doesn’t have to be in Europe. I could do it here in the States too, and I think I probably will continue upon this path when I get back, in some way. But as it is, I’ll be in Europe so it may as well begin there. I’m going to learn how to work with the Earth and provide for myself. I’m going to learn how to understand, and to be patient, and most importantly, I will be living as natural a lifestyle I know how. I think it is the best thing for me for now, and those that I care about, and perhaps eventually, I’ll want to make it a forever thing. Or perhaps I will find something else along the way, and make that a forever thing, or just a thing, until I find the next thing. No matter what, everything turns into something good, as long as you are willing to ride the wave.

I often think it’s spreading, but I think it’s moreso becoming the commonality amongst my friends.
That is, the idea of communal living on a farm. I’m talking about a household full of, I’d say between 10 to 30 people, depending on the arrangement, and we’d all work together on our own land to provide for ourselves. Our life support would be our crops, for we would want good, organic, real food for our own diet, and we could also perhaps sell them at a road-side stand up the road. Because that would be another thing, we’d want to be able to walk reasonably to town, like within a 5-10 mile walk, or so, probably no closer than that. We would have livestock, like chickens and goats and ducks, because I really love duck, and naturally collected water, or better yet, fresh spring water if we could be so lucky. I see no reason to not have electricity, but it would be wonderful if we made our own energy–ideally through hydro power from our fresh water source, like one of those big wooden wheels powering the whole operation. We could also have performances, and festivals, and we could open up our home as a bed and breakfast, of course.It would be a microcosm for creativity and interaction, and at our own will. We’d spend our days creating our livelihood and enjoying life freely and naturally. It’s assumed everyone would play their part, because that’s part of the enjoyment of life, for all of us, together.

I don’t think this idea is too far fetched. I’m learning more and more how common this actually is, all over the world. So I’m going to live on an organic farm, in Europe, and learn. I’m going to milk goats and make fermented food and grow vegetables and probably be cold and dirty a lot. It’s a trial run, or perhaps even a training period for what’s to come. This is the new wave, and I’m riding it out. I think by mid-Summer, just like last year, I will know what’s in store for the approaching Fall. Maybe the full time farming thing, traveling with the warm weather.
I cannot forget how brutal this winter was here, I’m not sure I can do another one. I should be back by the end of May from this excursion, though, and I will be so happy to do so, as I love Urbana when the sun in shining and everything is in bloom. I love how sleepy the town becomes, and how familiar and relaxed we allow ourselves to be.

No matter what happens, it’s going to be a good decision, because that’s how it should be.
I have nothing to worry about, because if I stay focused on the present, I will be most prepared to confront everything that comes my way. I’m confident that everything in life always works out exactly as it should, because it is what happens. I have nothing to prove to anyone and there is no one way to go. So I will see how the rest of the year goes, I will see how Europe goes.
I need to learn first, from others who have already done it.
I leave for Europe in 5 days, for 3 weeks of a crazy travel adventure before two months of farming.
That is the plan today.
Only 5 more days!